o.m.g

(I notice a trend of very short titles in my blog lately @@)

I.. thought that I have somewhat lost interest in dota.

What with all the politics and shit.

But.

A short, long postponed visit to the dota forums, one single thread, and I'm trembling all over again. I can hardly catch my breath.

I want to play dota now, or watch a good replay.

So. Incredibly. Badly.

But there is no internet at home =(

Maybe I'll play (T.T) AI.

(If only competitive dota weren't so damned complicated)

T.T

No Intenet at home.

Haven't done half the things I want to do.

And exam results sux.

emo~~~

=(

Asobitai~~

This is the new IN word! In protest against the wave after wave of work and stardee-ing that unceasingly crashes upon the shores of our lives, we shall chant it in zombie-like fervor!

And you can't just say it any way you want. You gotta say it like Konata here :



So c'mon everyone : ASOBITAI~~~ XD

Yo

To all the peeps working their ass off (or, like me, enjoying the relatively slower and less stressful pace of studying after mad project rush season) :

Good Luck for teh Finals!

"It ain't too much
"It ain't too much for me to JAM"



Fight-o! Rock on!

Does it always rain near the finals?

It has been repeated to no end, but I am so, very, enamored by Rain. It snares my eyes, stills my heart, and steals my breath, almost as if it had an indescribable, inexorable grip on my soul. The music that weaves its magical way into my ear draws me further into this fascination, this isolated, insulated, otherworldly dialogue between that simple shimmering veil of water and the most profound essence of my spirit.

But of course, I am merely the dreamer, pausing in the midst of his work, to stare out the window of a perfectly sheltered, temperature-conditioned faculty building. I look upon the Rain within my own sphere of safety, sitting in dry comfort before my laptop, snugly wrapped in the soothing music playing on Audacious.

Perhaps it is merely a consequence of perspective, that I am in love with the Rain.



As gently and silently as its coming the rain stops. But the sky remains overcast in brooding contemplation.

OMG!

And within the unfathomable depths of the blackest and darkest of times, a single quote shall stand forth.

A single quote shall shine within the opressing, suffocating, enslaving darkness to beam forth the glow of a hope so radiant that every heart shall be filled to the brim and burst with utter, overflowing, overpowering euphoric jubilance.

A single quote, shaped in simple words, that would forever change the destiny of those blessed enough to read it.

Quoteth IVLE :

"..the third and last s-option test is a gradiance homeworks."

the third and last s-option test is a gradiance homeworks.

YES!!

The Best Performers...

...Are those who perform with so much soul, blood and spirit that their feelings bloom out of the confinements of their physical flesh to overflow into the hearts of the audience, each trickle of their performance washing over you like a shower of intoxicating enchantments, and making you wonder, breathlessly, what would it be like to be on that stage, to be at the very center of that vortex of emotions, power, ecstasy and music.

Our CS2102 Project!

Not halfway as large and sophisticated as the system I was developing throughout summer, of course, but it's a good handful of days worth of hard, non-stop coding nonetheless (no, I didn't skip lectures. I CODED IN lecture :D) Now that its more or less in shape and nearly complete, I decided to bring it online by uploading it onto my ol pal and webhost, awardspace. It can be found here! Took more time than I imagined cos apparently awardspace' lousy old version of php does not support exception handling -.- so had to tweak bits of code all over the place.

Well, all in all its up and running. I have neither the will nor the want to test it thoroughly, after all it's for display only. I have since discovered a smattering of minor bugs, which I decided I won't fix in the online version because they're, well, minor. So if you're free go play with it and add interesting stuff into the database, and if anything breaks TELL ME so I can fix it and not lose marks! (I have very little marks nowadays T.T)

Oh, before I forget, you can use username : "admin" and password : "yay" to log in and gain access to "admin-only" features we were required to implement ;)

Rain

Because I'm absolutely nuts about rain, it seems natural and fitting that, when I decide to once again get my hands dirty in descriptive/narrative writing, I should write about rain.

So if you happen to be bored without anything better to do, go take a quick read and tell me what you think ~ here.

What? Don't be absurd! Of course magic remains an integral theme.

:D

NUS != University

NUS is NOT a university.

NUS is NOT a university.

NUS is NOT a university.

NUS is NOT a university!!

NUS = National Umbrella of Singapore
NUS = where interNet Uber Sux
NUS = NOT A D*MN UNIVERSITY!

and I = emo

GAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

NUS IS NOT A UNIVERSITY!!

Archmage ~ The reincarnation

Yep, thanks to linsien's get-everyone-to-play-archmage campaign, I have started playing Archmage! Its actually pretty fun for something recommended by linsien (xD) Oh, in case ur scratching your head, Archmage is a free, browser-based, text-based, turn-based online game. Think utopia, but minus the structure and team (hence stress xD) elements of a kingdom, and plus a very interesting metagame. The thought of summoning hordes of liches and horned demons don't hurt either :D

Multiple desktops... for WINDOWS

The shock! The amazement!

Ah wells, was planning to blog about Linkin Park's Minutes to Midnight album (which I enjoyed), but that will take some time so while waiting for linsien to appear (like 1hour 15 minutes after the agreed upon time), I'll just quickly pen down something I found while browsing the net.

I have to admit, one of the most important reasons I am absolutely terrified of returning to windows now is the single, cramped desktop in which I have to survive there (remember that Ubuntu has eight?). But now, it seems that there is salvation yet for all you people out there still reluctant to venture beyond the event horizon of microsoft windows. Take a look at this :



Yeah that's right. Virtual desktops for WINDOWS!! Complete with a 3D-cube effect too. Looks like it only gives you four virtual desktops, but hey, thats a hell alot better than one. Best of all, its free (you won't catch me blogging about it otherwise)!

Of course, I've never tried it, so I have no idea how well it works. I only ever log in to windows to perform stuff I absolutely cannot perform in Linux now, and one desktop is good enough for that. If any of you do try it out though, kindly let me know the results :)

Read more about Shock 4Way 3D Virtual Desktop (for Windows XP/2000/2003/Vista) here.

Embun!

So today Hoa in typical Hoa fashion sent me an enigmatic hyperlink via msn. In typical Yuen Hoe fashion I clicked the link, and et voila! I find :



Ubuntu-linux with a Malaysian flavour! Now that's something I would seriously consider installing if I didn't already have Ubuntu-linux running on my machine. I mean, if nothing else, the Embun logo looks a hell alot cooler than the ubuntu one ^^ While the name 'Embun' still somehow has an Ubuntu-ish feel to it, I have to say I like the bright neon-ish green colour scheme better than Ubuntu's brownish red, and the glassy icon theme doesn't hurt either ^^. Some screenshots (these are of course unmodified, unlike my previous Ubuntu shots ^^ basically what you get fresh out of install) :





As far as I could tell though, Embun is nothing more than Ubuntu with a nice wallpaper, a nice icon-set, a nice new logo and a couple of extra software thrown in. Neat, but not enough for me to switch from my current comfortable installation.

You can read about Embun via the original hyperlink Hoa sent me : http://news.softpedia.com/news/Embun-A-Malaysian-Ubuntu-67618.shtml

Of course, in the remote chance that any of you become interested, Embun, like Ubuntu, is open source, and available for perfectly free, perfectly legal download.

Random update

EDIT : I HAVE FIVE - NOT FOUR - FIVE!!! MIDTERM EXAMS THIS WEEK!!! PLUS TWO PROJECT DEADLINES!!!!!!! *cackles maniacally*

Hmmmm. Just felt like updating. Probably cos I don't see myself updating next week. Four midterms in a row for which I have done something of the order of 0 preparation. It's friday now. Saturday is tomorrow, and I still have to go out somewhere to bank in a cheque and more importantly try get my phone fixed.

Which brings me to my inexplicable string of bad luck with electronic devices lately. It started with me encountering problems with my laptop. Yes, even with the mighty Ubuntu, which appeared to be hanging on startup. After running a series of clumsy (manual) diagnostics on the yet unfamiliar system, I found out Ubuntu was perfectly fine. It wasn't hanging, an application program simply malfunctioned and lagged the whole computer for a few minutes everytime I log in. Oh well, gotta fix that sometime but for now disabling that program solves the issue. Also, somehow, there was a problem with Vista's NTFS partition, and I had to dig out instructions and run CHKDSK to fix it. So far so good, but then the unfixable, unTHINKable happened.

My damned NEW phone died.

Like died, flipped over, disintegrated, conked out, fizzled, mati'd, shi-ne'd.

Reason? Completely unknown. Last night it was perfectly fine. After a night in the train, I woke up to find it deader than a dodo bird. Oh the wonderful mysteries of the polymorphic universe.

So how in blazes does one live on this sacred island without the holy guidance of the mobile phone?

---

On a brighter note, I picked up a new favourite anime! Well, perhaps picked up isn't the correct word here, since it suggests that I am just beginning to watch it. Truth is I've finished the 14-episode series.

And I must say, I really like it.

Here's the background : ever since the beginning of this semester (ok, perhaps even before that), my taste in anime has redshifted towards the light-hearted genres of comedy/romance/slice-of-life. Perfectly natural of course - if you spend most of your days tango-ing with truckloads of work and with your poor neck always a couple of hairs away from the guillotine of some deadline, you'd want to spend what little free time you have laughing or appreciating quiet things too. And so it was goodbye to the likes of emo Gundam Seed (which my brother recommended to me) and hello to these cute, short and sometimes naive little series like Ginban Kaleidoscope and To Heart.

And then, there was The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi.

First episode gave off the impression that I'd stumbled upon a pretty original and interesting branch-off of the typical high school comedy anime genre. Well, suffice to say this anime proves that first impressions tell you nothing. Only 14 episodes in total, and while I at first felt rather like a little sailboat getting tossed around in the furious plot-twisting turbulence, it was one hell of a ride.

And on top of all that, the episode order is achronological. Like is that cool or what?

?

Oh wow! So I CAN churn out a long random post when I actually sit down to do it. lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading my trash. As I mentioned, I probably won't be updating next week.

So consider this... my last ditch attempt at a chance to mooch donuts

xD

Not quite here, not quite.. there

Like a puddle.

Shaded,
So marring the reflection
Of what lies without.
Muddy,
So veiling the clarity
Of what lies within.

Always aspiring,
But dwindling by the minute
in the unforgiving sunlight.






... I wish I could write better.

My cryptic post, lol

There are decisions. Some, I guess. Decisions made where you can convince yourself, your mind soul and body and all the entire universe for that matter that the decision you made was the best one. You can examine it from every objective angle and believe, with absolute confidence, that you made the right choice.

And does that stop you from regretting it? Quite quaintly, quite appallingly, and in fact quite naturally, no.

We worship Reason as the monolithic ruling entity in our thought process, and we make decisions based on Reasons. As we live and grow we are taught and conditioned to weigh every element of a choice given to us for the gravity and strength of the reasons backing them. We decide on something when we perceive it as having the soundest case, the strongest backing, the best reasons. And if we ever need to ask why, quite naturally, we could answer : "So I won't regret it".

But there come these times when a few strands of our disarrayed threads of thought, by a random feat of chance, strike a resonant chord that inadvertantly broadens the reaches of our perception. Awakening a vague but unshakable realization. And causing us to wonder, if only very briefly, if perhaps life is about taking chances.

Ubuntu!

Zzzz linsien's cryptic blog post made me forget what I wanted to blog about -.-

Oh wells, while I'm here let's brag about my uber new operating system! That's right, folks, I have finally and officially begun my great exodus away from the oppressive, autocratic rule of all-powerful and horribly lousy microsoft software. I hereby announce that I am now running



:D

Of course I still have vista home basic lurking around in another partition, since transferring to another operating system inevitably involves a learning curve (and also because some of my modules *cough cs2301* still forces us to use windows software). However! I have already grown completely attached to my new desktop environment and have immediately developed an intense condescending loathing for Vista basic's lousy user interface (linsien's xp desktop looks better T.T). Anyways, I hope you'll excuse me, but what's bragging without abit of advertising?

So! Why Ubuntu?

1) Cause it's LINUX!! Speaking from the point of view of a previous (ok, and to some extent current) user of Microsoft's loudly dubbed "most secure" Windows system, I'd say vista was nothing. The few new security features in vista that drew my grudging approval turned out to be only a part of the stuff that has been sitting in UNIX systems for ages. If that's not enough to convince you, consider this. I strode my merry stride into the Ubuntu with no user guide, minimal external help, and not an inkling of how to get stuff done. So in typical yuenhoe fashion I went about trying to get lotsa stuff (mostly to do with eye-candy elements, I'll admit) installed and working, hitting about doing lots of random stuff. And get this : ubuntu has no system restore. Undeterred, I rambo-ly crashed around the supposedly sacred system files in random newbie fashion, and managed to make lotsa things go horribly wrong, including completely shutting down my graphical user interface. AND HERE'S THE IMPORTANT BIT : my system is now in perfect, stable, beautiful working order. I didn't reformat, didn't reinstall, didn't REPAIR install, didn't even use any form of recovery tool. I could undo all the mess I made just by interfacing with the system's configurations and settings. TRY DOING THIS WITH WINDOWS AND NOT END UP WITH PERMA BLUE SCREENS OF DEATH!!

2) Cause it ain't microsoft. Self-explanatory.

3) Cause its Open Source! Hence it's free. It's legal. It's stable. And it sure as hell works too! Besides, open source also means that stuff can be added into the system ad libitum. So you basically get all the good stuff the operating system is able to offer for free (though at some installation effort on your part), unlike horrible microsoft who refuses to give me aero unless I cough up huge mountains of cash.

4) Cause the desktop environtment >>>>>>>> windows -.- Ever since getting familiar with Ubuntu I can never go back to vista without wincing. I mean, how can I remain content with Vista's single desktop, when on Ubuntu I have EIGHT :



Besides, on Ubuntu I get nice glassy stylish themes :



Mini screen-shots for my alt-tabs :



Cool water effects :



And lotsa other cool, customizable window effects, including the all-important mac-style window switcher :



5) Besides, the linux system back-end also seems alot more friendly than that of windows, making linux alot more customizable and programmable...

Oops, I guess that's enough bragging for one post :D Gotta go for class now, so brag more next time ^^

Not memory, Remembrance.

I walk along the darkened path
The shadow of hills they haunt me
But as always in these tormented times
I look up, love, and find thee

Yea though I ask that these trials be swift
And you always nod, and call my fears cease
Today I ask of you, love, your wisdom
To fathom this soul's incurable disease

And as all of humanity, I ask why?
(For "why" is proof of our enlightenment and our inadequacy)
Why is it, that I remembereth not
Before, when yet I dwelt amidst greenery

Why is it that only now I see
That before, I trod unfeelingly on my days
That absently I wandered the fields of sunshine
And never thought to taste the rays?

Yea though I ask that these trials be swift
And as always you nod, and call my fears cease
Today I ask, love, another gift
Of constant gratitude, through the times of peace.

Internet woes

And Jason is, right now, in a foul mood.

Right smack in the middle of the great and mighty NUS itself, global knowledge enterprise, world class campus, touted for incredible IT facilities. Right smack in the middle of it all resides Jason. And lo and behold, speedtest.net gives him a 12kbps reading. For those who are unsure what this entails, this is slower than streamyx. Much slower. Dialup-style super-slow snail pace internet.

-.-

Nevermind. Nice people like Hoa recommended getting nus vpn, which apparently stabilises the connection. All right! that should be easy! Just go right to the computer centre website and look up vpn client for windows and ~~

The thing dies on vista.

Like hell MULTITUDES of goddamned people use vista in NUS. How long has the thing been out? No new version? No workaround? Not even a friggin NOTE at the website that says "Oh yea, doesn't work on vista. We're workin on it"? And so I spent hours and hours trying to get things to work in Vista, using suggestions like using a webvpn service, and was amply rewarded with blue screens of death.

Sigh.

And then there was Ubuntu! Yay! Wonderful operating system, with lotsa cool stuff and a load of free, legal open source software. And guess what?

I can't get the friggin client to work on Ubuntu either!!!

Like freakin GAH!!

W00t more hours of work. Like hello! I'm supposed to be working on my mountain of assignments so why the hell is NUS' fantastic IT facilities makin me go round and round in happy little circles wrestling with speeds that make me bang my head against the keyboard doing simple stuff like browsing Wikipedia?

Alright, downloaded vpn-client source for linux. Followed installation instructions. Some weird error indecipherable by linux noobs like me occurs. Jason slams his head into his desk. Retry, after installling some packages here and there. Same problem. Jason contemplates the tempting prospect of flinging his laptop out the window then doing the same to himself. Decided to try webvpn, tumbled around Ubuntu and a very slow internet looking for installation instructions, then wrestled with installing JRE under the breakneck speeds (downloading file, estimated time left 2hrs 39mins) Finally done. Firefox crashes at webvpn login. Well no surprise, activeX controls always suck anyway. After going around in more random circles, decided to try downloading a different version of the nus vpn client. This time compilation and installation actually worked! Wow! Uber! Now... what? Go to nus vpn web page. Read something to the effect of "Guess what? We're providing this thing but we ain't givin no support cos we're all windows people and linux people can take care of themselves while linux noobs like you can just get caught in the middle and consider suicide".

By now my brain was hovering somewhere between completely shutting down, blowing apart scattering brain bits everywhere, and commanding me to do something random like eating my speakers. Nonetheless, the show must go on! And after more google hunting on the usual fantastic connection speeds, I finally found out that you could connect to nus vpn using a program called vpnc. Brilliant, except how the hell do you use it? And so, after more shuffling and piecing information from various outdated websites together, I finally, finally managed, after several tries, to get on nus vpn.

This, had better, be worth it.

Sigh. NUS. NUS. What are you doing with your IT facility reputation? Speeds have been terrific before. You've got the friggin infrastructure, now start making it goddamned deliver!

Alright!

At the behest of the Great SP again I come, to bring new material unto the long abandoned realms of my sorry blog.

Just came back from performing for this year's combined martial arts display. I tell you we spent ludicrous amounts of hours on this production, and 80% of those many, many hours were spent waiting and generally looking neglected and forgotten. Very, very, very poor management on the part of the organisers. We spent two saturdays of at least four hours each for supposed 'rehearsals', and today, some of us, including me, were there since 1pm for a 7:30pm performance and et voila ~ number of full rehearsals we had = zero. All of us in wushu were there waiting by 3pm, and we sat, and we sat, and we sat until at 5pm they told us that they had to close the theater till 6pm. Like excuse me? An entire troup of performers showing up and just sitting around waiting for TWO HOURS and now you tell me to just walk off and have dinner when we havent even tested the stage once? So you asked us to be there at 3pm so we can sit around and enjoy the aircon while you guys sort out a skit that should have been sorted out aeons ago?

I even had to skip NUSEG welcome tea to do basically nothing (I couldn't sneak out cos I had to do some stuff from time to time, and when they do give us the stage we need all of us to be there) Like hell, there is a curse upon this land I tell you. Those who treadeth upon it in impunity shall find their schedule mercilessly and utterly filled up but in the very end achieve nothing of value.

*sigh* *Deep breath*

Alrite! That's enough bitching. Despite the whole load of crap abovestated it was actually quite fun. There are alot of uber people in the other martial arts groups and it was cool getting to know them. Oh, I was involved in the skit of course. I played the extremely important role of Guy-who-got-kicked,flew,tumbled,looked-comically-dizzy,collapsed-and-died. The other subclub peeps were all busy trying to teach me proper forward rolls, which in all honesty looked highly martial artsy and unsuitable to me. Though they admonished me constantly on how I might injure myself if I don't do this and that I managed to convince them to just let me do it my way. I mean, this is a scenario where you can actually tune your own forward momentum so you don't hurt yourself anyway. Ask me and I'll tell you that you are just supposed to look like an abused ragged doll, not an expert in proper falling technique. But I appreciate the thought I guess ^^ In the end I had to do the tumbling without the tatami mattresses (if that's how you spell it) Its interesting that all the Judo and Karate masters, commonly seen falling in all sorts of positions on tatami mats, looked alarmed and asked me if I was ok. Made me remember the days in Catholic High (PJ!) where we basically just flung ourselves around on hard surfaces, trying to not get hurt while at the same time not look fake.

Anyways, the display, ironically and incredulously, was quite a hoot (at least the parts of it that I managed to watch). An enthusiastic cast had turned the skit script upside down with funny bits here and there, and somehow managed to pull off the hundreds of last minute changes and executed them rather flawlessly. The martial arts subclubs themselves have also evidently been rehearsing hard on their own (no thanks to the organisers), and each put on competent and occasionally really attractive performances. Although, there were backstage hickups here and there, I was thoroughly surprised and impressed by the parts of the display that I watched. I suppose the little mistakes that come with the zero full rehearsal folly can go unnoticed, and what truly mattered was the performances in between were good enough to compensate. Our wushu performance itself was a paradoxical mesh of lots of mistakes and lots of brilliance ^^ I guess because we never formally rehearsed on stage with music, many of us got nervous. Quite a few of us made mistakes or forgot parts of our routines, but everyone managed to improvise perfectly. What little inadequacies in our performance, I guess, was offset by a fantastic 九节鞭 display by Song En (may not be correctly spelt xD), after which we all came out and struck a smart pose to the audience's thunderous applause.

Wow, I can't believe I made such a long post on the display alone @@ I better go bathe now. I am highly unclean, impure, unwashed and generally ungodly now, especially after having rolled around on the floor about 8 times today. Besides, I need to be up real early tomorrow to go down to Geylang East Home for the Aged. Apparently there is a bug in our system there that we have to try and fix. And also there is the meeting with the other organisations that might want to also implement our software ~

Ah wells, long story short = gtg, oyasumi ^^

Moore's Law

Ok so I'm not usually into making one-quote blog posts but I just heard a line that I really like so...

When you open a birthday card and it plays you a birthday song, there's a chip in that card that has more computing power than all the combined allied forces in World War II. And what do you do with it? You throw it in the garbage. THAT'S Moore's Law.

Damn. How come NUS Toooleeeeka lecturers aren't so cool T.T

Ahem

And so I am here to announce that

There is nothing like COLD POKKA FRUIT FLAVOURED TEA after a killer wushu session!

Why!!

Because after a killer wushu session, cold Pokka Fruit Flavoured tea isn't just SOME drink anymore. After a killer wushu session, every moisture-starved taste bud stands alert and tensed upon your dry tongue, receptors stretched and poised to plunge in wild abandonment into the rejuvenation that is the first cold, sweet gulp. When every metabolically overworked cell in your hot and lactic-acid-saturated body await with fanatical anticipaton each swift flush of ice-cold glucose-laced hypotonic fluid, when every nerve ending is outstretched and waiting with excrutiating impatience for each chilly swig that would set every synaptic connection between your oral cavity and your cerebral cortex ecstatically aflame, you will find, at the precise moment your Pokka tea envelops your tongue and slushes against your throat, that there is nothing quite like cold pokka tea after a killer wushu session.

Oh wait!

Nothing perhaps, except BURPING after a FULL and SATISFYING ITALIAN BMT!

Going utterly drunk on that hypnotising, disarming, intoxicating aftertaste! Of molten cheese and salted meat, of warm bread and fresh onions, of tongue twisting trickling oozing melting honey mustard...

Or!!

The ecstatic unfolding of sheer bliss that is MILANESE FISH in MID-BITE! The initial sting of the piping hot fish flesh melting before an overflowing, overpowering outpour of aromatic garlic and buttery bliss...

Then, there is the crackling, sizzling, fresh-off-the-stove KFC chicken, dripping with oil and meat juice and coleslaw sauce...

And of course, the steaming bowl of lemak chicken curry, fresh out of the kitchen at home, emitting that expanding cloud of particles that have the somewhat unpleasant effect of setting your salivatory glands on complete overdrive.

Add to that a plate of home-cooked nasi-lemak...

~~~~~~~

Hmmm, so when you screw your programming assignment (for awhile) and dream away like this, you'll have to agree that its a pretty wonderful world out there, after all ^^

I am SWITCHING HOSTS!!

Gahness lol. I've noticed for a long time now that people who are in Malaysia seem to be complaining about my webbie being down alot more often. Of course, now that lotsa peeps have left Singapore, that fact has been hammered down on me harder than ever. Between linsien's multi-exclamation-marked msn personal message and Debz complaint that she can NEVER (now there's powerful word!) go to my site while she's in Brunei, I have finally made the decision to ditch awardspace, despite their sparkling list of features and their relatively good service (that is, outside of Malaysia and Brunei, evidently).

Well fortunately I have a couple of back-up free-hosts to fall back on, but I won't be able to make the switch until I'm finally freed up from coding 6-10 hrs a day. Hopefully when I finally return home to Malaysia I'd be able to begin carrying out my long postponed grand plans for refurnishing my webbie.

Okay, I've run out of things to say. The coding session plus the wushu practice that followed must have gotten my wits (supposing I had any to begin with). Either that or it didn't survive the three square knocks my poor head received from my own wayward 三节棍.

*yawnz*

Time to take a bath (yeah I haven't bathed! :D) and after that, perhaps some much needed Brewd Wahring!!

Busy...

... busy.. busy.... busy

.. and

STRESSED

RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SUMMER HOLIDAYS

The sheer inconceivable unspeakableness of it.

and siewping has the audacity to tell me she's bored

T.T

xD

*breathe*

*sigh*

Now back to work.

Quick update...

... To appease the inexorable stalker of blogs - SiewPing the Vigilant. ^^

Just a quick one though. I'll post some photos and write an account of our Sabah-china trip if and when I ever muster the time.

Omg, can yuenhoe really be that busy?

I'll have you know that promptly after an early lunch today I have sat through more than six straight hours of coding (adding to the five hours approx I enjoyed yesterday), and all just to complete the crude working crux of a not-so-complicated series of modules, thanks to the complexity of Joomla! and the infernal exasperating unspeakableness of Javascript.

Whats more? Immediately after the gruelling programming adventure, yuenhoe rushes off to an early dinner, and at 6:30pm valiantly but suicidally sets off for wushu practice.

Now at 11:30pm he slouches lethargically before his laptop, procrastinating the little more coding he has to do for the night to pen down this useless piece of text maliciously engineered to wreak unknown detrimental effects on the mental well-being of the unfortunate reader (namely you)

Whats more? To further ensure the success of his evil designs, yuenhoe has decided on a whim to provide the final fatal hammer blow to the last vestiges of your undoubtedly battered sanity.

Here comes the Mjolnir!



Someday I will learn to write like that. Words chosen and stringed, that taste so subtly sweet upon the speaker's savouring tongue.

Tagged by Dina

Oh well since I'm lazy to think of something serious to blog about I'll just do this tag thing to prove to Dina that I do tags :P (I did sping's tag before lor!)

Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the fibs alone.
Then, tag 3 people to do the same test:

I miss somebody right now.
I do not watch tv these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games. (hmmm, unless dota counts! =D)
I have tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (usually...)
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I curse. (when the situation warants it =/)
I’m totally smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones.
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now. (I need Subwayyyyy wahahaha)
I love sushi. (w00t)
I talk really, really fast. (hmmm sometimes i guess =/)
I have long hair. (I used to, by guy standards anyway :P)
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller ID.
I like the way I look. (well not exactly like in a narcissistic sense, but I'm content ^^)
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent. (key word: hidden..? I wonder what it is)
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends. (hmmm alot is so relative @@)
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. (does my dad when I was young count..?)
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat. (NO WAY!!)
I don’t hate anyone. (but then, hate is open to intepretation =/)
I'm a pretty good dancer. (sp laughs at me T.T)
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before. (again, this may mean alot of things o.o)
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before. (not just one...)
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything. (hmmm does math allergy count?)
I have a lot to learn.
I’m shy around members of the opposite sex. (a lil =/)
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
I have tried alcohol before.
I own the South Park movie.
I would die for my best friend. (probably not just my best friend ^^)
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all. (rawr!)
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (not around here you don't)
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it. (the vanguard of human stupidity)
I am happy at this moment! (its the DEGREE of happiness that is in question here :P)
I’m obsessed with girls.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I study for tests most of the time. (Excusez moi? o.o)
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced. (not even my ears duh)
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles. (???)
I spend ridiculous money on makeup. (the evils of capitalism)
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument. (the LEVEL of proficiency is another story)
I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules. (I lurve water!)
I went college out of state.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. (I'm getting bored...)
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve written in.
I can’t stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. (well once in awhile ^^)
I have jazz in my blood.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I wear a toe ring.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with. ( =/ )
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is. (no I don't cosplay)
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I’m an artist. (if only, T.T)
I only clean my room when necessary. (yep! Everything is done on a need-to-clean basis!)
I like a person of the same sex. (the context of "like" here is too suspicious ^^)
I love being happy. (Excusez moi?)
I am an adrenaline junkie.

3 people who will have to do this

(zzz I hate this part. Well the first people off my list of links who haven't done it gets it I guess ^^)

1) Linsien
2) Victor
3) Ben...? lol lets see if he does tags!!

Will you be there

There may be nothing magical about them. Just intepretations of certain neurological signals, generated by a certain pattern of vibratory variations picked up by the tympanic membrane, which go on to stimulate some preprogrammed biological response that move us in a certain way. But we do not (and perhaps should not) need to know these things. On a very abstract level we understand that the Music helps, in a deep, unspeakable way. That is, perhaps, all that matters.

Here is my contribution to all the music currently circulating in my little world. Thank you for the music. Good luck for the finals. And in all of life's challenges, God bless.

This was the ending theme for the movie "Free Willy"
- Will you be there, by Michael Jackson.



To repentance, recovery, and renewal.

Mortality

We like to believe that there is a type of magic in certain things in this world. A shred of sanctity, we call 'meaning'. Against our senses and our reasoning faculties, we make illogical but beautiful romanticizations of the things we see, feel, and do. This is the curse of the human being, the ironic result of a fusion of incredible imagination with pitifully limited knowledge. Sometimes we go too far, seeing too far in our shiny dreams, yet understanding far too little. And it is in the fury of the inevitable retribution that we come to find disappointment, despair.

And we call it, Life.



To the hurt, the sorrowful, and the departed.

Magical! Mystical! Wonderful!

Lol I intended to do this sooner before the physics test but the whole laptop lightning fiasco got in the way and so I was forced to postpone till now.

This is for all of you out there who at one point or another found yourself wallowing in a chin-deep and rising pool of equations ^^

Presenting Magical! Mystical! Wonderful! Complete with smug emoticon!



(I think ls and eric are gonna kill me for this xD)

A strange night

A night stricken with misfortune, yet a night of events made possible by that misfortune. A night spent with an old, old friend, long neglected and almost forgotten. A paradoxical night, with opportunity and disability superposed. And on this peculiar, almost spiritual night, I picked up my pencil and paper, and in the most primitive way began to write

Slowly, shyly, a step outside
Then bolder, stronger, another stride
Into the night, ablaze, alight
Not with moonglow, but man-made light

Slowly, shyly, a step outside
A foreign step, a forgotten rhyme
Retaken, recited, for today, tonight
There is nothing to do with "much needed" time

Then bolder, stronger, another stride
An unspeakable pull on my uncertain feet
With solitude my companion and friend and guide
So long forgotten, so bittersweet

Into the night, ablaze, alight
With colours of the unbridled mind
Fathomless trails of discontinuous insight
With Michael's flowing chords entwined

Not with moonglow, but man-made light
Not answers to the will or wish
Not miracle nor magic nor divine light
But peace, and prayer, and wistful relish

Slowly, shyly, a step outside
Then bolder, stronger, another stride
Into the night, ablaze, alight
Not moonglow, naye, just man-made light

Terkena tag

Well, I guess I DO owe a couple of people some tag thing or another back when I was too lazy to blog so I suppose this time round I'd actually answer sp's tag thingy - as the great kuailan master says - just to amuse myself. lol.

The rules are:"Those who get tagged must post 6 weird things about themselves in their blog and state the rules clearly. At the end of the post, you must choose 6 other people to tag."

1. Hmmm I very often set out intending to do lotsa stuff but end up actually doing very little. Well, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak I suppose.

2. As a partial explanation to number 1 above, I recently discovered that I am actually highly affected by mood. Not mood in the context of the infamous ls-style mood swings, of course, but rather mood as in a creative/dreamy/lazy mood, or being in the mood for some subject or action. When I'm in the correct mood for a particular endeavour, I'll end up executing it at 300% efficiency whilst if I were unfortunate enough to be in the mood for something other than the task at hand, I'll end up extremely and excruciatingly distracted, and even the simplest tasks can end up taking millenia to complete (which is why I always try to leave alot of time for things I absolutely have to do ^^) This is also why I tend to ace subjects that I like with relative effortlessness (because the probability for me to be in the mood for efforts in that direction is that much higher if I like it ;) and do horribly for subjects that I dislike, no matter how much time I invest in it. (read Sejarah and Moral xD )

3. I lurve old stuff, and I detest brand new items. Lol ok this probably isn't a completely general rule, but the idea is that I greatly value familiarity - to the point where I would stubbornly cling to bags, clothes, handphones and most importantly SANDALS that have spent a good measure of time in my possession, adamantly refusing to have them replaced (to my poor mother's intense ire). Well say whatever you want but new items, especially items you have to wear, take a lot of getting used to. They chafe! And I personally don't see much sense in finally getting comfortable with your trusty sandals only to have them replaced with another horrible, stiff, fresh off the shelf block of wood.

4. Well you guys know this but I'm meatarian, and proud of it! You peeps can pressure me into eating as much vege as you want but get this : Vegetables are icky. They're slimy, wobbly, unoily and GREEN. You guys can have all the horrijeeble carrots, cucumbers, spinaches, cabbages (ugh!!!!) and your sanctimonious health talk, but I'm sticking to my cool, lipid-laced, oily, juicy meat. :P

5. My brain (or the part thereof that deals with memory) has a garbage collector. For those of you who don't take Java a garbage collector is basically this feature that goes around looking for isolated pieces of unreferenced memory items and then deletes/garbage collects them. This is precisely what happens in my brain. I learn up stuff that link up to my existing store of knowledge very quickly and effortlessly, and as long as concepts stay interlinked in my head, they pretty much stay for freakin ever. But when I attempt to put random things that do not readily relate to anything I know (like telephone numbers and mathematical formulae), they get garbage collected in like 2 days. Thats why I still cannot quote that damned cosine rule. T.T

6. I destroy peace and serenity, purity and sanity with my shameless voicebox and any sound emitting contraption near at hand :



:P

I'll tag :
You.
Your neighbour.
Your friend.
Your other friend.
Your yet other friend.
My sandals

Huh? What's this about not following rules? So SUE ME! :P

Ephemeral patterns, shifting colours, and Sleep

Sometimes I imagine a display of hundreds and thousands of threads. Multicolored and changing, flickering and flowing. Twisting and turning, Weaving in on each other, meeting, intertwining, parting. Threads of dreams, thoughts, fleeting emotions. Figments of subconscious imagination, leftover fragments of unfinished thoughts. The entirety of the realm of perception conceived of the sophisticated and untamable mind. And amidst this tangled network of swirling, lashing strings is a single, unspecial thread, that one we call 'reality'. Just like the rest, it cuts an erratic, ludicrous path through the landscapes of our consciousness. Just as fickle, just as fluid, just as laughably amorphous.

But there is one lethal difference. The impossibility of escape.

But it nonetheless becomes tempting, to turn the back on the unfeeling, mindless twists of that ridiculous thread. To go to sleep, wrapped in folds of dazzling impossibilities, covered in sheets woven of the fantastic.

And simply dream reality away.

Yes, I am but spouting nonsense.

Bleach - The Arrancar Arc!

Behold! I am here again to foil all your futile mugging attempts! This time with the uber addictive Bleach Arrancar Arc!

If you should find yourself stricken with a sudden insatiable and inexorable urge to get more bleach after watching this video teaser, remember that the old filler arc ENDS and the new arrancar arc BEGINS at episode 110! Free direct download available at http://bleachportal.net. Alternatively you can always simply search for them on Youtube. Enjoy!

Update!

Update! This time not in the simple sense of simply updating my blog with another senseless outgrowth of my SWI-stricken, pseudo-poetic mind but a true update in the sense of an updated account of what's been going on in my uninteresting life.

It is night now, the first real free night I've had for awhile. Just came back from a pretty relaxing session of wushu, at the end of a week in which I had regular classes, faced three tests, and simultaneously organised probably the largest dota event our puny little not-even-officially-a-cca student interest group ever tackled. Still got homework to do and wushu duty during the NUS Open House on Sunday but hey, I'm gonna relish what little breathing space I can afford.

Okay update away! Let's start from my studies. This semester has been a little downhill in terms of academic excitement - most of the modules I'm taking are rather less interesting and/or have rather more inadequate lecturer's and tutors compared to those in the last semester. And what's worse? They're on the whole alot heavier workload-wise. Thank God and His twinkling stars that I don't live in a hall. I'll take my puny speck of a dwelling space and count my blessings over the horror stories I'm hearing (and sometimes witnessing @@) of hall-imposed responsibilities.

Which reminds me! I just checked and I apparently managed to steal for myself 38 CCA points! Now THAT is a tidy sum, looks like if this keeps up I won't be having trouble with keeping my on-campus accommodation if I want to. However the asymmetry between the amount of time and sweat you invest and the amount of points you receive in reward is still as stark as ever (I got the same amount of points just attending er-hu lessons as I got for going for wushu twice a week AND performing for them on two occasions). Realities of a Singapore-bound life. As the great Mr Chan used to say : "That's life la har!"

On a sadder note, I've been facing severe problems on the dota front - my laptop has been basically screwing up every last match I had the audacity to attempt to join. With that kind of lag and dc frequency I will not only not be able to bolster my sinking skill levels, but will end up spoiling the game for my teammates as well. Enough is enough I guess. I have no choice now but to decide to quit dota until I can either obtain for myself a new machine or get this obviously aging veteran revitalised (all you old laptop whores better feel sorry! :p). No matter how you look at it this almost definitely means leaving my current team, since I will not be able to participate in practices for a long while. So I guess I'll go free lance once I am dota-reenabled, and perhaps take time to train myself back into competitive shape.

On the other hand I'm glad that I am nonetheless rooted to the general dota community in NUS, which to my pleasure appears to be growing and thriving. Even if I can no longer participate in competitive matches I am glad that I am at least able to contribute towards creating a creating a competitive atmosphere in the gaming community here. Incidentally those of you who might be interested in the replays of the NUS finals of the SingTel GXL Gaming Cup (I assure you that there are matches worth watching!) they will be up soon at http://www.nuseg.com/ so keep an eye on that webbie :) And while you're at it, POST something :))

Alrite I'm going to terminate this update now, mainly because I'm highly sleepy and thinking of more stuff to write, including a proper ending for this post, seems like a mountain of effort. So I'm just gonna leave it like this.

Oyasumi.

Naruto Shippuuden

For those miserable souls who have yet to hear the ground-breaking news, the Naruto filler arc is officially over. Herald ye the new age of Naruto Shippuuden!

INSTRUCTIONS to be followed on penalty of death

WATCH this video teaser.
CLEAN up the puddle of (your) drool on the floor.
FALL over yourself in your mad rush to find and watch the rest
OR
DEMAND here in utmost earnest that I tell you how to get the rest.

Enjoy.

Shimmering Veil

There is something profoundly magical about them. These countless dust-like tricklets, descending with detached purpose unto the waiting ground, barely visible, barely audible yet distinctly felt. There is something in the way they fall, lightly but quickly, onto the leaves, the windows and the slanting roofs, coagulate into masses of clear liquid, without shape, without form, rolling and tumbling, until they accidentally fall off unto the air once more, little perfect spheres of glass which, almost faster than the eye could see, vanish amidst the countless playful ripples dancing upon the puddles on the floor.

There is something in this quiet, lively display of lifeless substances that soothes the mind as surely as it fills the air with that fresh taste of humid chill. There is music being plaid here; soft, delicate and enchanting, audible only to the silent, undistracted listener.

How many rainy days have I left outside my window?

Beauty and Time

Always, when beauty blooms into existence, there comes two choices

To bow to the inexorable persistence of Time, turn a blind eye to the fleeting spectacle, and forge deeper into the depthless mire of important, necessary, pressing work.

Or

To stop and look to see, to nourish the soul with the prettiness that sometimes materialize from the random polymorphic world, and for one brief moment be happy. And later, to be punished harshly for having fallen behind the unforgiving, relentless steps of Time.

At this moment, as I bask in the coolness of the drizzle outside my window, and in the music emanating from the twin speakers of my laptop, how I wish that, just for this brief moment, the falling grains of sand will cease to trickle through my futile fingers. Just for this brief moment let the steady flow freeze, and let me sit.

and feel.

Just for awhile.

But even as I am penning this down now, I know that I am wasting time.

Scarce and much needed Time...

Happy CNY :)

The traditional mad rush to Senai airport had never quite been uneventful before, and this time round proved no exception, as I discovered when I once again set off down the happy trail towards Johore Bahru, heading home for Chinese New Year.

At 4pm I walked out into blistering sunshine with a sleeveless shirt and a murmured wish that I don't get a headache from the heat. By the time I arrived at an overcrowded Jurong East MRT station, though, the skies had darkened, and the first traces of what soon escalated into an all out storm began trickling from the gray heavens.

And as usual, I was raincoatless and umbrellaless. Just my luck.

Fortunately due to my setting off early, the causeway wasn't quite a bottleneck of jammed metallic tranportational devices yet, so all I needed to get across was to fight alongside a monstrous swarm of people for the buses, which each left their stops more stuffed than sardine cans. At the other end, the pouring weather and the already considerable queue at the run-down Malaysian customs checkpoint gave me the sweet opportunity to make a little wade-dash in the rain, with my back arched over my laptop bag and my feet and my dear sandals splashing in inch-deep water. Talk about adventure.

So finally against the odds and the beating raindrops I arrived at the airport's city lounge at Kota Raya, where I to my extreme horror met Foo, also heading for Senai airport (to catch a flight an hour earlier than mine). After forking out a painful RM 8 for the previously free shuttle service to Senai, I was also blessed with the chance to pace, fiddle and generally sit in idle wait for the damned shuttle bus, which happily arrived about 30 minutes past schedule.

10 minutes later, when we were all snugly settled in our seats, the bus lumbered off in the direction of the airport - to be promptly caught in a terrific jam that basically lasted the entire way to the airport, tripling the time of the journey. And here I was worrying about arriving at the airport too early (I set out a full 5 hours before my flight)! As it turned out the attendant on the shuttle bus hooked up with the guys in the airport to delay poor Foo's flight, and so he fortunately made it onto the plane and flew off to Catland.

As for me, being ravenously hungry and rather short on time, I bought and wolfed down a quick meal at the new Marrybrowns outlet in the airport, nearly choking and killing myself, and thereafter hurried to the boarding gate to be greeted by the news that my flight just got delayed by half and hour.

Sigh.

Well, shit happens when it wants to. I guess what's important is that everything turned out well in the end. Sure, it may not have been the most smooth-sailing of trips, but many more things could have gone wrong. As it turned out God decided to answer all of my prayers despite the angry weather and ill circumstances, and I am grateful for that.

(Besides, it definitely wasn't the worse of trips, remembering things like the Chieh Ping's bag incident.)

And so I began this festive season rather wretched and abused, but with an acute inner sense of thanksgiving. Thanksgiving that I hope will remain in my soul as I stride firm steps into the new lunar year.

May it be that, though things may not turn out exactly as we want, there will always be room for reflection, that we may count our blessings and find joy.

Happy CNY :)

Dragontines day!

Peculiarly, jiwang songs have been wrapping strands of dreamy lyrics around my befuddled consciousness this entire day. A product of my characteristic perpetual sleepiness? Or the expression of a subconscious wistful sorrow, one that survived in spite of my various happily-married-to-sandals bravado?

Anyhow lately I have been - without any reason whatsoever - snapping awake on my bed way earlier than I need to, and today - again entirely without reason - my eyes happened to decide to flicker open at about 630 am.

And class only starts at 9!

Combine this with the fact that I slept at about 1am last night and you'd arrive at the conclusion that Jason will inevitably roam the woeful halls of NUS as a veritable walking avatar of sleepiness this day.

And so I did.

Very nearly died of boredom in Aaron Tan's Lecture (those who've listened to him for CS1104 will know what I mean) In order to save myself from the immensely Ben-like behaviour of falling asleep in class, I needed to entertain myself. But unlike Eric who simply solved his problem by immersing himself in one of his characteristic uber kuailan flash games involving Osama, Mao Zhedong and Pope Benedict, I sanctimoniously decided to work on something constructive.

Well obviously, that could only mean one thing :



Happy Dragontines Day :)

Procrastination

Every day when I return to my little room, bearing the remnants of the day's load, she awaits me therein.

And when I come to sit on my bed, wishing brief respite from the endless chores, she comes to sit alongside me.

Her touch was the caress of the shifting breeze, and her voice the faint whisper of noctornal song.
Her shimmering hair was the silver rain that bathes me, in ripples of pleasant chill refreshes me,
And her breath was the fragrance of the washed earth.
And her eyes, always the depthless velvet of night, draws mine into its swirling embrace of passion.

Her unfolding hands beckon like a dove, bearing the promise of flight, of limitlessness and infinity.

"Come with me" She says, as always "Release your burden, the weight that leaves you earthbound, and come with me.
"Come dance with me the steps of lightness, of simple, thoughtless uncertainty.
"Come and sing to the rhythm of your desires. Come and lose yourself in the enigmatic grace of the night
"Come with me and take flight, love, unto luna's radiant silver take flight."

So sweet her voice, so tempting her call. So wondrous the fluttering thought of her seduction.

And yet I fight her, though not knowing why. Steel upon steel, my will against her magic.

And this night, it is obvious who claimed the victor.

Break

Break (in C/C++ and many similar programming languages)
A statement that instructs execution to break out of a loop cycle when further looping becomes unnecessary or potentially harmful

Okay in response to Ben's and Christine's posts as well as the various opinions they generated I will now seek to explain and clarify the idea I was trying to bring forth in my previous post.

Here is the essence of my argument : We each have our varied set of problems - having too much to do, being unable to work towards a dream, failing at what we expect to achieve - but they share one thing in common: They all involve intense difficulty in, or failure of, our efforts in obtaining an ideal(s). We aim at a mark identified by society or by our own inherent wants and slave away to that end (or, if this is not possible, gaze anxiously at the horizon in wait), and when we find ourselves up smack against a blank wall or climbing a seemingly insurmountable potential barrier we, naturally, cave in to frustration, cynicism and deep depression.

We wonder why is it that we cannot get what we want. We wonder why is it that despite having held on for so long, no deliverance seems to be forthcoming to reward our painful perserverence. Why must we suffer and whether there is an end. Why God implanted these desires in our beings, and yet withholds their fruit from our reaching fingers.

The fact of the matter is that ideals don't become any more reachable through the pratice of constant thought and sheer, unquenchable want. And while working towards our goals may increase our chances at winning it, the actual probability increment is measured solely by the raw effectiveness of our methods and its synergy with the other random factors of involved in the situation, NOT by the actual amount of sweat and efforts we invest. Success comes at its own time and in its own flavour, and no matter how much we would like to we are not afforded the luxury of any form of choice.

So yes, I agree with Ben and Ian that it is nigh impossible to disconnect our sense of self worth from the social forces that shape our lives, BUT I do not agree that a particular ideal (or yardstick), once identified, should have a permanent rooted position near the top of our priorities. The reasons :

• We know that if we want to have any chance of getting what we aim for we have to work for it - but what if whatever we're aiming for turns out to be unreachable? The question then is no longer that of replanting the 'yardstick' onto a location we can consider 'more successful' but that of removing the yardstick from grounds we are unable to reach despite repeated efforts on our part. Security loses its meaning if we cannot have a realistic chance for hitting the level at which security is attained.
  


• Plus, if our minimum level of assurance proves to be at least currently unachievable, insisting on keeping this gauge of assurance will only lead us to be fearful, insecure, and generally even less effective in our efforts as a whole. This is certainly not going to help our chances of achieving what we want in the near future and will in fact adversely affect our performance in any other endeavour we may be undertaking at that moment. The idea is maintaining fast hold and pouring insistent attention and sweat on a presently unattainable goal is tantamount to beating ourselves against a solid bolder : it won't get us through, and it will hurt us
  

Hence, under such considerations it becomes both rational and necessary sometimes to just let go of some things in life, however much we may desire them at some point. If something is unattainable at a particular time we should strive to recognise and admit this, and be rational enough to understand that there is nothing we can do about it and that we should be focusing on something else - I am certain that at least for the people likely to read this blog, there will always be other things that require attention. Work on those lest you find yourself losing something else just because you wasted too much time on something that was a lost cause to begin with. I am in no way implying that letting go is easy (I've had my share of lost ideals) but my assertion is that there should be no reason to NOT work on something achievable, however lacking its appeal, on the account of something that is NOT achievable, however painfully alluring.

Back to the so termed minimum level of assurance, my point is that if this minimum level proves either unattainable or costly (to our emotional/spiritual well-being, that is) to maintain, then this level should be readjusted. Of course if we seek a readjustment that will not devalue our self worth then we will find ourselves with the question of how? - Since we acknowledge that society has laid down a rigid set of rules defining success in its terms, it would seem that redefining our inner-gauge such that it will both measure our own worth to our satisfaction AND comply by societal standards is impossible. What I am suggesting, however, is for us to simply accept a humbler view of ourselves - ie if we cant change the meter, we would lower the threshold. If we cannot change our level of success in society's rigid terms, then we quit trying to and live with a lower position in the success hierarchy - in exchange for a calmer, potentially happier life and a clearer mind. This is not easy given that everyone and anyone would like to have at least a relatively high regard for themselves and their intrinsic potentials. But a pathway that eats up all of our energy and/or spirit without giving any realistic results is no way, and we are much better off breaking out of this cycle of unhappiness and fruitlessness and walking down a path we can actually progress naturally. Put from a religious viewpoint, we should seek and walk the direction in which God intends for us to go, even if it humbles us, instead of wandering out on our own and demanding that he help us to whatever prize we find.

This is the Geodesic of Life that I talked about. Only some wounded pride, intrinsic longing and a certain degree of vanity should stand in our way of a smoother walk down the hilly roads of life.

Note:
I am not in anyway suggesting that we should not put great effort into fulfilling our ambitions, or that we should be giving up when we encounter discouraging signs during the course of our efforts. I should state here that I write this post keeping in mind that my 'target audience', sort of, do not usually have a problem with application of effort. Rather, most of us, I think, simply try way too hard sometimes.

Also if I'm not making as much sense as I'm hoping to make, then please bear with me. I have not written pieces like this in ages, plus I'm really sleepy right now~~~

Night Begins

At this moment, when the pen is finally laid down.

Night begins.

Not when darkness spreads its cloak, but when the midnight candle dies.

Not when the outside world turns quiet, but when the rustling papers hush.

Not when the air is still, but when the stillness seeps past the rushing blood to finally bring rest.

When the mind withdraws at long last from the torment of dull exertion, and the soul at long last sheds the chrysalis of the day's fruitless load. When the breeze lifts the consciousness from the clinging flakes of tedium, and my entire being soars with the intoxication of this one brief moment of utter freedom.

Night begins.

Live free and live merry, for tommorrow we die.

Doodle-oo!

This one's dedicated to Victor-sama! ^^

Life's Geodesic

Geodesic
The shortest distance between two points on a surface

Why do we go out of our way in pursuit of all these ideals that come our way? Why do we put so much effort into hacking, slashing and feeling our way down an entangled, blocked, hostile path, when another awaits, clear and bright and easy, just next door?

So many goals, so many things to aim for, so many aspirations. And following that, so many lost causes, so many disappointments, so much sorrow.

What justifies this sheer labour? This teeth-gritting, relentless hold on all these hopes, all these duties, all these work?

What is it that we are working for anyway? Are we labouring under the will of God, or our own insistence? Is He there ahead, saying "Keep going, I will deliver you" or is He standing back at the sunlit road that we left, saying "Come back after you have exhausted yourself, when you lie broken, in final comprehension that you belong not there but here. And I will walk with you once more"?

Perhaps there is a path through the thick forests of life. One that we can walk, slowly by suredly. A path along which we can look at the hanging carrots of life - money, love, fame; good results, social popularity and Cambridge - and despite not having achieved them, still find peace.

How do we find this path? Perhaps it is just there, the simplest, most natural one. The direction in which we can put one foot on the smooth grass ahead of the other, instead of beating our shoulders against a stone barrier and shedding tears of impotence.

Perhaps this is life in its truest splendour - to turn away from the many unreachable temptations and look instead for that wooden staff, upon the hand of the gentle Shepherd beckoning towards the Geodesic of Life.

Fool's Flu

We interrupt this blog reading session to bring you a special and urgent announcement. For a long time now biological scientists have expressed fears for the possibility of the evolution of a Super Bug, ie a highly virulent strain of microorganisms capable of essentially annihilating the human race. Unfortunately, experts have recently made the grave announcement that they have discovered a potential candidate.

The ailment was first discovered in the person of an Undergraduate student at the National University of Singapore. The patient, who identifies himself as Jason Lim Yuen Hoe, describes the symptoms as thus.

"It started out like an ordinary flu, with the usual runny nose and all. But the discomfort quickly intensifies as headache, eye irritation, wooziness and intense lethargy quickly join an escalating avalanche of nasal mucus."

While these alone are alarming enough, experts have discovered another diabolically peculiar trait of the infection, which was dubbed Fool's Flu.

"The symptoms skyrocketed exponentially the more homework I tried to do. Especially when I attempted to work on my Math Tutorial - suffice to say I nearly died that time." Said a helpless Jason "It's as if the infection is sensitive to attempts at improving intelligence, and reacts aggressively and violently against it."

Under the deadly influence of Fool's Flu, Jason found himself bedridden about 10 seconds into each of his tutorial-solving attempts.

"I only completed exactly three tutorial questions in the entire span of the weekend!" Lamented Jason, who has voluntarily quarantined himself in his room.

The precise mechanics of how the infection could spread from one person to another is still not completely known, but health experts have the following advice for all who come within a 20 km proximity of Prince George's Part Residence.

"Do not share food and drinks, and keep clear of unboiled water or uncooked food. We do not know yet if the microorganism is airborne so keep three layers of cloth over your nose and mouth as often as possible."

Firefox foxfire

For a long time now I have browsed the web wielding the combined features of Microsoft Internet Explorer and the Opera web browser, who each complement the faults of the other. Today I finally decided that it is time I showed my support for the marvelous Open Source movement and got myself the Firefox browser. Of course, the fact that Firefox is a single browser combining the strengths of both my previous browsers was an added bonus. Imagine my surprise then, when Firefox fumbled on its very first day under my fingers.

There I was nonchalantly bringing up a Youtube video and it failed to display, presumably due to the absence of a flash plugin. "This isn't a problem" I thought, as I calmly went on to download Adobe Flash Player v9. Confidently I reloaded the video after the installation, and imagine my horror when the browser crashed!

Rather annoyed, I went on to try everything from reinstalling the plugin to doing a system restore to reinstalling Firefox itself, all to no avail. Frustrated I went online in search for a fix, and after feeding a few keywords to Google (probably the greatest entity ever to grace the web) finally found my solution.

I must say that I really like all the other aspects of Firefox, from the GUI feel to the browsing speed and tab system, but issues like these are going to tarnish the user's experience. Hopefully this glitch will be fixed and dealt with soon or we're never going to kill off Microsoft. For the benefit of those who might encounter a similar problem, here is a description of the problem, as well as instructions on how to fix it.

Symptoms
After having downloaded the plugin, Firefox begins to play a flash video with no hiccups at first, then the video freezes and Firefox becomes unstable, failing to respond normally. Occassionally a pop up "llegal Operation In Plug-In" error appears with the message "The plugin performed an illegal operation. You are strongly advised to restart Firefox". Closing Firefox and rerunning it restores normality, but only until the next time you attempt to play the video

Fix
Uninstall flash player 8/9 and install flash player 7. This seems to resolve the issue. To uninstall run a search on your computer for the following files :

• NPSWF32.dll
• flashplayer.xpt

Then simply delete them. After uninstalling, go here and download flash player 7. Remember to download the Netscape version and not the Internet Explorer version. Simply download the setup file into any location, then shut down Firefox and run the setup file. Once installation is complete, Firefox should now show flash videos properly.

First Post!

First post in a brand new blog! And I'd first like to note that Siewping the professional spammer has spammed on my first post even before it was properly written! One has to hand it to her. I gotta go over to her milo kosong blog and spam her once in awhile.

Anyways I am still trying out this service, so this may not be permanent yet. Please do not link directly to this blog, but link instead to my main website (http://yuenhoe.co.nr/) Much of this place (and of my main website) is still under construction but I'll have it cleared up sooner or later. In the meantime if you discover anything defective about my blog/site (except my poor header up there which Siewping blatantly abused T.T) please let me know.

Welpzz nothing more to write I guess. Just came back from wushu and the SWI(Start work inertia) syndrome is as strong as ever (Why do you think I'm actually BLOGGING?). Likely I'll ride my current rush of interest and webbie-enthusiasm to bring all my planned updates up as soon as possible, so keep near and around. For latest info, please check the announcement box in my main site :)